I flat-out bawled when I saw you in The Pianist. I cheered aloud when you won your Oscar. I wished I was Halle Berry when you accepted it. Sometimes, I even dream of your perfect nose. What I’m trying to say is that I thought you and I had a good thing going.
Why are you doing this to me? And by “this,” I mean Splice.
Look, I’m willing to you give another chance. You’re the youngest winner of the Best Actor Academy Award ever. Act like it, goddammit.